questionable material

There are many things in life that I don't understand, but the one on my mind today is reading on the toilet. I don't get it. Why would you want to sit on a hole, exposing the most vulnerable part of your body to a drafty bowl of cold water, and have a relaxing read? You see the books and magazines on the back of toilets as if to say "stay a while". I don't want to stay a while. I want to get up, get out and get on with the day. If I did want to read I would curl up on the couch, or in bed. The toilet would be the last place that I would take a book. You would have "ring around the bum" if you were in there for more than five minutes. And don't even get me started on the cleanliness issue. When I see a cross word puzzle and a pen I nearly loose it. I have begun to see why nerds carry multiple pens in their pockets, because do you really know where other pens have been? No offense to potty readers. I still love you. I just won't be reading your potty books.

The Helmet

So, I got this new helmet thing for my "misshapen" head that everyone keeps talking about. I, of course, think I look fine, but whatever. Mommy says I need to wear it 23 hours a day! I'm like "Are you kidding me? What will my girl cousins think? And right during the holidays when there will be pictures galore!" But as most things in my life I take it in stride, and wear it like a good little boy without any complaints, because I'm cool like that.

HEY! I said no pictures!

Well, OK maybe one.

I do look kind of cute, huh.

Then Mommy pimped my helmet and now I'm stylin'. Oh, and by the way I am eating in this picture. That's right real food. I think it was squash that day, a family favorite. It's just alright for me.


Are you kidding me with this? Who can sleep this way? Helmet and bi-pap mask? But actually the helmet makes my mask fit more comfortably, and I usually sleep all the way through the night with it. I"ll take the perks where I can get them.

Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow.

Jewelry Open House

I am having a Jewelry Open House tomorrow! Come find great gifts at a great price for a great cause! All proceeds go towards Greyson's medical bills. Necklaces, bracelets, earrings, hair clips, pacifier chains, etc. Most items under $7!

And now some pictures with my terrible camera!

There is something for everyone, and everyone is welcome!
See you there!

Date: Saturday, Nov. 21st
Time: 11:00am-2:00pm
Place: Brown Residence (call for info if needed)
Questions? 801 - 221 - 4605

waddled

We decorated for Christmas the other night, which consists mostly of Joe doing all the work while I sit on the couch and watch "White Christmas". I do help a little, but it is Joe's favorite thing in all the world to do. He looks forward to this all year, so I sit back and let him do his magic.

The tree. Our camera is really bad so you can't really grasp how beautiful it is. Just trust me.



Mila insisted on helping with the "socks". (wow we really need a new camera)



Then she made me take this picture down through the tree. Pretty creative. Classic Mila face.



The boys wanted to be "waddled" in blankets as they drank hot chocolate and watched "How the Grinch Stole Christmas".

And so we "waddled" them.


Grey watched from the couch, contented as always.






The kids wanted to help. But after some minor destruction, chaos, and fits...


this is all we let them do.

Mila + Me + Walmart bathroom = HILARIOUS

Mila (on toilet) "This is going to be ugly."

Me "Bhahahahahaha!"

(the picture was probably not the best choice, fingers in mouth and all)

not so good news

A midwife stopped me in the hall at my last check-up a couple of months ago. "I've been thinking about your son and I came upon this research about Antiphospholipid Syndrome." "Do what, now?" I thought. "It's a coagulated blood condition in mothers that can effect the baby, and cause birth defects, because the blood is too 'sticky' to give the baby the nutrients and oxygen it needs in-utero." I thought back to my umbilical cord. It was short and skinny when I delivered Grey, and I have been diagnosed with coagulated blood. "Hmm, I really need to look into that, thank you." I said a bit shocked.

A few days ago I saw my neurologist. I guess I should mention at this point that undiagnosed diseases run in the family. I have been searching for an answer to my extreme fatigue and dizzy spells for 15 years now. Most of my doctors have given up, and I am now taking a medication that they give soldiers and doctors that need to stay up for days at a time. I take this medication everyday just to stay awake, and I fall asleep just fine every night. It was a routine check-up, that I thought would be quick and painless. The doctor asked "How are your symptoms now?" I replied "They are OK, I guess. I had one of my dizzy spells last week and felt pain behind my eye with it." "Explain those dizzy spells to me again." She said. I had explained them to her so many times before that I rattled off the usual speech. "It starts at the top of my head, tingly, I can't move or talk, but I am concious...blah, blah, blah." "That is a classic description of Complex Partial Seizures." Ummm...WHAT?" I responded. "Yes" she said, "that is what you have. Seizures." I was, again, stunned. (I seem to be stunned a lot these days. I guess this type of situation is just... stunning.) "We need to get you on some medication because every time you have a seizure it is like a fire in your brain, killing brain cells." "That explains a lot." I thought. She scheduled more tests, as I sat thinking. I remembered what the midwife has said and asked, "Do you think I have Antiphospholipid Syndrome?" She said, "Let me read your chart again." She scrolled down the plethora of blood tests and her eyes lit up for a moment "Yes, I believe you do." At this point I choked back the tears and asked "So, do you think my condition has anything to do with Greyson's condition?" She hesitated for a moment and said "No, probably not. You'll have to ask his doctor." His doctor? His doctor is a neurologist. I felt like she knew it did effect him, but didn't want to tell me, or didn't feel it was her place. I finished up as quickly as possible, and left.

I drove home in tears. When I walked in the door Joe asked what was wrong. I told him the whole story. I retold the frustration of trying to get a diagnosis for myself before I got pregnant with Grey, so that the baby would not be effected by my condition, whatever it was. I was so angry that I had a diagnosis before I got pregnant, that was somehow overlooked. I wasn't warned, or prepared. He told me "Greyson is who he is, no matter if it came from you or not. We know he is special. We've known that all along. He might not be with us for very long, but that is not your fault. This is Heavenly Father's plan for him, and us." I knew he was right, and I agreed, silently. The pain and frustration didn't leave right away. I tried to keep my mind off of it. We watched an episode of "Grey's Anatomy", BIG MISTAKE. In the episode a 10 year old boy dies after beating the odds for years, and a baby is born with severe complications. BLAH. I cried and cried. I picked up Grey and held him tight. He patted my arm as if to say "It's OK, Mommy." Which of course made me cry more. I wish this story had a happy ending. As the days go by the pain becomes less, and I am truly happy for the time I have to spend with him. I am also grateful for wonderful friends and family, that support and love me.

Next time I'll be funny and happy, I promise.

the photogenic award goes to...

I have four beautiful children, I will be the first to admit it, but you would never know from these pictures.

Exhibit A:

evil, balding gnome in princess disguise


Exhibit B:

less than impressed Robot with casual Thomas and irritated Snow White


Exhibit C:

freaky bald fairy, with glued on buns, that stole someone's essence


Exhibit D: who makes a face like this when you say "cheese"? My boys


Exhibit E:
ragamuffin troll doll


Exhibit F:
greasy monkey


Exhibit G:don't ask


Exhibit H:

homeless child with missing upper lip


Exhibit I:

I said "smile" not "close your eyes"


Exhibit J:

now that's just sad, he was happy here, I promise

Now after reassessment I realize the problem here is the photographer, mostly.

and after all that I will now post a good one...

is that the best I have? Well yes, for now, but there will be better ones coming soon...stay tuned