And now that I have a moment while Greyson is sleeping in the the hospital bed next to me and the ICU is relatively quiet, I will tell you the story if the notorious B I R D...
It's more than one bird actually, dare I say all birds, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Anyone who knows Joe and I, knows we love birds. They are the only animal we have ever had as a pet, in fact the only animal we would ever even consider having as a pet.
Exhibit A:
We got our first bird right after we got married. Jubees, short for Jubilee, was like a child to us. She would sit on your shoulder and make kissy noises. We tried to get her to talk, but she was too stubborn. However I did record her talking once when she thought we weren't listening. When Miles was born she became insanely jealous. One day her jealousy over took her and she flew out the door. I didn't realize this for days and called for her over and over. I finally put it together after a while. I made missing posters trying to find her, but it was no use.
Exhibit B:
At Christmastime we make our house a cozy wonderland inside and out. We came up with what we considered a cleaver idea using pvc pipe wrapped with red and white rope lights to look like giant candy canes under the eaves of the roof. We enjoyed the look all season long. When it came time to take them down Joe found one to be more dirty than the rest. Looking inside the tube he couldn't see the other end so he hit it against the ground vigorously to get the dirt loose. 6, yes 6 dead birds fell out of the bottom. Loving birds the way we do this was a devastating shock.
Exhibit C:
We were thrilled to finally buy our first house, though it wasn't the newest of houses it was ours. After a month or two the dryer began to stink. Yes I know that is disgusting. Which is why I immediately called someone the clean out the dryer duct. After the nice man checked it out he gave me the bad news, Birds had made a nest so big in our dryer vent that it eroded away some of the pipe letting hot, moist, dryer air waft into the attic. Lovely.
Exhibit D:
For about a month now the boys have been waking up to scratchy squeaky sounds coming from the dryer ducts. A few days ago the dryer started acting sluggish again and the smell began to return. Those dang birds! (though I didn't use the word "dang" in my head). You won't get me this time!! I thought. I went outside and pulled the dryer tube out of the wall and began shaking it aggressively. A few measly twigs fell out. So I reached my hand inside and pulled out what could have easily filled a bucket full of twigs grass feather and all the makings of a nest. Bah! I was so mad I took some screen and screwed the opening all shut.
Exhibit E:
Directly after the final dryer stand off I was enjoying the springy day working in the yard. Suddenly I felt a wet "plop" on my nose. If you couldn't guess it was bird revenge in the only way a bird knows how, to poo on my face.
Why do you want to hate me so bad when all I have is love for you, you mean naughty birds. Ah well, they are smart little suckers aren't they.
