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I have been so busy that I ha
ven't had a chance to post anything in a long time. For those of you who don't know, Grey has been hospitalized every month since January. His immune system is fine, we have just been unlucky. The doctors say that it has been the worst RSV/flu season in a long time, and we have caught everything that has come along. For my other children it is just an occasional cough or sneeze, but for Grey it is very dangerous. His lungs are very weak and he can't cough on his own. Without coughing any respiratory illness can turn into pneumonia. This last visit was the longest. We were at Primary's for a week and 2 days. Finally the doctors told us about South Davis Community Hospital. It is a rehabilitation/ permanent living facility for the severely handicapped. At first I was devastated to think about sending my baby to a permanent living facility, if only for a few weeks, but we really had no choice. He was well enough to come home from Primary's, but he was still requiring so much care that there was no way Joe and I could take it on ourselves. He has fallen behind on physical therapy and eating by mouth since he has been in the hospital so much in the last 6 months, and South Davis has the means to work on physical therapy and eating while doing all of his treatments. Joe and I toured South Davis and decided it was the best option to get him back on his feet. The day he was transferred I was emotionally and physically exhausted after sleeping in a chair for a week and making this tough decision. It was late in the afternoon when I stepped out of the elevator into the pediatric unit. I had toured the facility the day before, but most of the children were hidden away, so to speak, in their rooms. 
This time they were all out in the hall. Although I knew this was a permanent living facility for severely handicapped children I wasn't prepared for what I saw. There were many teens in wheelchairs yelling, drooling and making repetitive motions. I had to walk through many of them to get to Grey's room. It was shocking and for some reason really scary to me. I had been alone, in the hospital for a week, I was tired and overwhelmed and I snapped. I began to cry uncontrollably and had to walk outside to my car. With nowhere else to go I got in my car and sobbed for about a half hour. I called Joe and expressed how I couldn't imagine leaving our baby there, but we had no choice. I composed myself as much as I could and walked in to kiss Grey goodnight. He was happy and none the wiser to the situation. The staff was friendly, and I knew I had to leave it in the Lord's hands. I kissed him and left to go to my friend Carri's house 10 minutes away. I consider it a huge blessing that I have a dear friend that lives that close to the hospital. I have know her my whole life and consider her family. Carri's mother was there waiting for me when I arrived with open arms. I have always felt like she is second mother, and I needed a mother at that point. We talked and she made me laugh, and I felt much better. The next day I went to visit Grey and was immediately hit by the smell of "rest home" when I entered the building. I felt sick to my stomach, but put on a brave face. When I walked into the pediatric unit it felt different than the night before. There were still children in the hall yelling and drooling, but it wasn't scary. The sun was pouring in through the window in Grey's room and he was talking to himself while watching "Blue's 
Clues" on the TV. He was excited to see me and began talking loudly saying "dada" and "mama" as if to tell me about his day. He was happy and content. I felt a world of relief. Since then he has been working hard to gain strength and he can sit up on his own now! The kids have come up to stay with me at Carri's, which they consider a mini vacation. Carri's friend got us passes to Lagoon, which is 5 minutes from the hospital. We had a wonderful time and I was still able to visit Grey that day. Though it has been crazy (excuse the pun) it has not been too bad. I am so grateful for Carri who has so willingly taken my family in, and made me feel so at home. I have come to love South Davis. Though I still don't like spending hours there, I at least know Grey is loved and taken care of. The staff is amazing. There is so much love for these children. They treat them like their own. There is a teenage girl who is mentally handicappe
d who sits by the nurses station everyday. The nurses chat and treat her like she is part of the conversation. The other day I noticed she had got a haircut and it was blown out all nice and sassy. I told her it looked good and she smiled. There is another girl that is probably the most physically handicapped I have ever seen. She only has one finger, but her fingernail is painted bright pink. They obviously love these children, and I am growing to love them too. I am learning their names and when I 
come I say "hi" to them. They stop yelling for a moment as if they are responding. Grey is everyone's favorite, of course. The nurses fight over who gets to take care of him. I know he is in the right place. I already see all the good that has come out of this experience, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to become stronger, I truly am. Grey will be coming home on the 19th of June and we will be whisking him, and the other kids, away on a much needed vacation to Disneyland. Thank you for all the prayers and support. We love you all so much!
ven't had a chance to post anything in a long time. For those of you who don't know, Grey has been hospitalized every month since January. His immune system is fine, we have just been unlucky. The doctors say that it has been the worst RSV/flu season in a long time, and we have caught everything that has come along. For my other children it is just an occasional cough or sneeze, but for Grey it is very dangerous. His lungs are very weak and he can't cough on his own. Without coughing any respiratory illness can turn into pneumonia. This last visit was the longest. We were at Primary's for a week and 2 days. Finally the doctors told us about South Davis Community Hospital. It is a rehabilitation/ permanent living facility for the severely handicapped. At first I was devastated to think about sending my baby to a permanent living facility, if only for a few weeks, but we really had no choice. He was well enough to come home from Primary's, but he was still requiring so much care that there was no way Joe and I could take it on ourselves. He has fallen behind on physical therapy and eating by mouth since he has been in the hospital so much in the last 6 months, and South Davis has the means to work on physical therapy and eating while doing all of his treatments. Joe and I toured South Davis and decided it was the best option to get him back on his feet. The day he was transferred I was emotionally and physically exhausted after sleeping in a chair for a week and making this tough decision. It was late in the afternoon when I stepped out of the elevator into the pediatric unit. I had toured the facility the day before, but most of the children were hidden away, so to speak, in their rooms. 
This time they were all out in the hall. Although I knew this was a permanent living facility for severely handicapped children I wasn't prepared for what I saw. There were many teens in wheelchairs yelling, drooling and making repetitive motions. I had to walk through many of them to get to Grey's room. It was shocking and for some reason really scary to me. I had been alone, in the hospital for a week, I was tired and overwhelmed and I snapped. I began to cry uncontrollably and had to walk outside to my car. With nowhere else to go I got in my car and sobbed for about a half hour. I called Joe and expressed how I couldn't imagine leaving our baby there, but we had no choice. I composed myself as much as I could and walked in to kiss Grey goodnight. He was happy and none the wiser to the situation. The staff was friendly, and I knew I had to leave it in the Lord's hands. I kissed him and left to go to my friend Carri's house 10 minutes away. I consider it a huge blessing that I have a dear friend that lives that close to the hospital. I have know her my whole life and consider her family. Carri's mother was there waiting for me when I arrived with open arms. I have always felt like she is second mother, and I needed a mother at that point. We talked and she made me laugh, and I felt much better. The next day I went to visit Grey and was immediately hit by the smell of "rest home" when I entered the building. I felt sick to my stomach, but put on a brave face. When I walked into the pediatric unit it felt different than the night before. There were still children in the hall yelling and drooling, but it wasn't scary. The sun was pouring in through the window in Grey's room and he was talking to himself while watching "Blue's 
Clues" on the TV. He was excited to see me and began talking loudly saying "dada" and "mama" as if to tell me about his day. He was happy and content. I felt a world of relief. Since then he has been working hard to gain strength and he can sit up on his own now! The kids have come up to stay with me at Carri's, which they consider a mini vacation. Carri's friend got us passes to Lagoon, which is 5 minutes from the hospital. We had a wonderful time and I was still able to visit Grey that day. Though it has been crazy (excuse the pun) it has not been too bad. I am so grateful for Carri who has so willingly taken my family in, and made me feel so at home. I have come to love South Davis. Though I still don't like spending hours there, I at least know Grey is loved and taken care of. The staff is amazing. There is so much love for these children. They treat them like their own. There is a teenage girl who is mentally handicappe
d who sits by the nurses station everyday. The nurses chat and treat her like she is part of the conversation. The other day I noticed she had got a haircut and it was blown out all nice and sassy. I told her it looked good and she smiled. There is another girl that is probably the most physically handicapped I have ever seen. She only has one finger, but her fingernail is painted bright pink. They obviously love these children, and I am growing to love them too. I am learning their names and when I 
come I say "hi" to them. They stop yelling for a moment as if they are responding. Grey is everyone's favorite, of course. The nurses fight over who gets to take care of him. I know he is in the right place. I already see all the good that has come out of this experience, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to become stronger, I truly am. Grey will be coming home on the 19th of June and we will be whisking him, and the other kids, away on a much needed vacation to Disneyland. Thank you for all the prayers and support. We love you all so much!
